


Mourning Lullaby

by UnderworId



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 10:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21177977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderworId/pseuds/UnderworId
Summary: It's cold...





	Mourning Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Be kind, always.

_ I saw it. For the first time, or maybe not.  _

_ I can’t remember well. I saw it falling from the sky. Snow, that’s what they call it.  _

_ I remember the coldness of ice in my little hands, forming it into an ice ball not bigger as my hands. I used to play with it, that sparkling white snow covering the houses, the trees, and the park.  _

_ The park where I played most of the time, I don’t remember when. I walk, alone seeing the people around me, only few, they are all wearing those funny clothes. Those kinds with fur like feeling ‘sweater‘ that’s what they call it, think they wear it to feel warm. I don’t know the feeling, for I am wearing a thin blue dress. Torn and faded, it doesn’t protect me from the cold but it helps me feel a little comfort at summer time when the sun is extremely hot.  _

_ I walk alone, on the snow-covered pavement. I’m not wearing a slipper, for mine was too small for my feet. I throw it away long ago. But I don’t care because I don’t feel the cold anymore, so I returned my wondering.  _

_ I’m confused, where am I going? Will this journey stop? Why am I here?  _

_ I stopped in front of a house. My eyes were attracted to a big lantern décor hanged in the rooftop. I remember being irritated by those lights and music. I can’t sleep at night when I hear the sound of those noisy sound and those lights, they make me dizzy when I look at them for a long time. But now nothing is happening to my eyes as I stare at those dancing lights and the music sounds soothing, relaxing.  _

_ I heard a voice, someone singing. I turn at the gate a boy same age as I am… twelve years old. He was holding two old cans of sardines, slamming both to each other to the tune of his song “Jingle bells… jingle bells…“. The door opens, a beautiful woman came outside the house and gave the boy some money. After, she hurried back to her house.  _

_ I followed the lady; I peeked inside their house through the window. Their house was very huge. Like castle, but I think a church is bigger than this house. I play inside the church, hide and seek. The church is always quiet when it is closed and there is no mass held. But the house I’m seeing now looks cozy, it have a rag on the floor and so many glass on the walls. In the middle of the room I saw a tree ‘a Christmas tree‘. It was standing tall in the middle. It has so many colorful little lights around it, on and off. Below it were boxes ‘gifts‘, they call them.  _

_ I don’t know the feeling of  _ _ receiving a gift. I never received one…  _

_ I have no relative to buy me gifts.  _

_ I raised my eyes on the higher top portion of the tree. There was an angel décor on top. I smiled remembering those stories I’ve heard about angels playing and guiding us, I believe in them.  _

_ I remember my name… Angel. That was my name… that’s the only name I remember people calling me before.  _

_ Then I saw two children maybe older than I am sitting at the floor. The older one, a boy was eating an apple. Apple, I remember how it taste like, when you bite it. The red skin that I can’t bite so I always peal it off. Inside is a white-yellowish thing that when you bite a little juice will come out. It tastes sweet but sometimes a little sour too. It’s like tiny beads when you crunch it with your teeth. I remember it well. The younger one, a girl eating a white oblong object that looks sticky to eat “mallows“ I told myself. It tastes funny to me because it was dry when you swallow it then it becomes sweet and sticky. Very soft like air and it dissolves easily inside your mouth. Then I saw an older man sitting with the beautiful woman in a wide chair, which have much foam beneath the cover that feels like floating when you sit on it or when you jump on it. I experienced that when I sat on an old wide chair thrown near where I live. They where sitting down laughing together.  _

_ I remembered father. We were happy together, before. He always bring me to the park and buy me chocolates, those sweet brown bar that when it melts inside my mouth it still leaves a sweet taste. I eat messy; some stain my face, my hands and my dress. But father doesn’t get mad he’ll just say “Let’s wash your hands and mouth now so you’ll be clean“. My father that tells me stories before I sleep. But he was gone now; those guys with guns took him away.  _

_ Away from me… they took him in jail.  _

_ I don’t know where. I never saw father after that happened. They say he was a robber, I believe none of it. I love my father and I will still wait for his return.  _

_ But will he… look for me?  _

_ Now I know who’s sitting beside the old man. She is called a mother. I don’t know what she do, for I never had one. Father said she died after I was born. I never knew her.  _

_ I knew what they are… a family.  _

_ I back away from the window, I envy them for they have what I don’t, what I wish, what I dream of having… a family.  _

_ I walk out, return to my journey. Walking on the road alone. The snow stops falling a  _ _ while ago. I can see the bright moon above, shinning with the stars. Sparkling, tantalizing my eyes… something inside of me longing to be with them.  _

_ I walked again.  _

_ I don’t know if this walking has an ending.  _

_ Yet I don’t feel tired.  _

_ I walked alone, ignoring the big dog barking loudly behind my back. The flickering lights of the post and the quietness of the surrounding… I’m alone.  _

_ I came into an alley, very familiar to me. The dirty walls, muddy pavement and the darkness.  _

_ I hate the dark; I’m scared of it… specially when I’m alone.  _

_ But now even in the dark I can see… I don’t even feel alone anymore.  _

_ In the far corner beside a trashcan filled with rats fisting in the garbage I saw a girl. As old as I am, she lies there cold and quiet. Like sleeping, she lies there alone.  _

_ Her face white, maybe because of the cold. Nothing can protect her from the cold, not her torn blue dress or her bare feet. I stared at her face for a long time. I became a rock; not even the strong blow of the ice-cold wind moved me.  _

_ I then recall, that night, all of it.  _

_ The coldness that goes through my bones. Feels like I’ll never be warm again. I found myself leaving the spot, turning my head away.  _

_ I’m free… am I?  _

_ I don’t know but it feels exactly like that. The snow starts to fall again, but I worry no more, now that I feel nothing.  _

_ I’m free.  _

_ Now that that cold road I always sleep on will not bother me anymore. I feel nothing, like I have no problems at all. Actually, I feel very alive, for once I feel strong again. My happiness returned to me. I feel very alive after that plague took over my body and the fever closed my eyes…  _

_ that left my soul unbind…  _

**Author's Note:**

> Collection of short stories written way back in 2008.
> 
> Thank you for spending time with me.


End file.
